Two Dozen Male Commandments
> 1. Thou shalt not rent Sleepless in Seattle.
>
> 2. When on a fishing trip with the guys, never, no
> matter how sunburned
> you and your buds may be....is it NOT appropriate to
> rub sunscreen on
> each other's backs.
>
> 3. If a man's zipper is down, that's his
> problem--you didn't see
> nothin'.
>
> 4. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
> may be legally killed
> and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
>
> 5. When in need to go pee, there is a minimum of one
> empty urinal
> between you and another man. If this is not
> possible, you're out of
> luck----hold it 'til later.
>
> 6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by
> 50% without
> recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot
is
> allowed to call you
> on it. (Exception: When trying to pick-up a girl,
> the allowable
> exaggeration rate rises to 400%).
>
> 7. Under no circumstances may two men share an
> umbrella.
>
> 8. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his
> sister is
> off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
>
> 9. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for
> another guy who's
> running late: five minutes. Maximum waiting time:
> six minutes. For a
> girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every
> point of hotness she
> scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
>
> 10. Things that you can always cheat on: your taxes,
> the SAT's, and your
> resume. Things you can never cheat on: golf, darts,
> poker.
>
> 11. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines
> the pit stops, not
> the weakest.
>
> 12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
> 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports"
must
> be treated as spies
> until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the
> ability to pick a
> Buffalo wing clean.
>
> 14. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate
> family, you must bail
> out a friend within 12 hours.
>
> 15. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday
> present for another
> man. (In fact even remembering your best buddy's
> birthday is strictly
> optional).
>
> 16. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences
> over the death of a
> girlfriend's cat, even if you secretly set it
on
> fire and threw it into
> a ceiling fan.
>
> 17. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd
> better be talking
> about his choice of beer.
>
> 18. Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement
> contract, do not
> appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
>
> 19. When stumbling upon other guys watching a
> sporting event, you may
> always ask the score of the game in progress; but
> you may never ask
> who's playing.
>
> 20. It is permissible to order a fruity chick drink
> only when you're
> sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered
by
> a topless
> model....and it's free.
>
> 21. Only in a situation of mortal peril are you
> allowed to kick another
> member of the male species in the "family jewels."
>
> 22. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless
> you're on equal footing:
> both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all
> other situations, an
> almost imperceptible "I recognize you"
nod is all
> the conversation you
> need.
>
> 23. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
> dressed woman must
> remain sober enough to do her.
>
> 24. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
> Issue closed.
(a reprinted article)
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