wife stories

Given it all up

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by
a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man
who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,
"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with
it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago, " the
homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?"
the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble, " the homeless man
said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course
instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I
haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light
district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?"
exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well, " said the man, "I'm not going
to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you
home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded.

"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing
that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her
to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling,
golf, and sex."