The Smith's...
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided
to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy
father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said "I'm
off. The man
should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door to door baby photographer
rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. I've come to..........".
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting
you, " Mrs. Smith cut
in blushing.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well,
good! I've made a
specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please
come in and have a
seat".
After a moment she asked, embarrassed, "Well, where
do we start?"
Leave everything to me he said, I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch and perhaps a couple in the bed. Sometimes
the living room
floor is fun too--you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work for Harry
and I".
"Well Madam none of us can guarantee a good one every
times.
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from
six or seven angles,
I'm sure you will be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot of......" gasped Mrs.
Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to
be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed
with that, I'm
sure".
"Don't I know it, " Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on
top of a bus".
"Oh, my God!!: Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her
handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally
well--when you consider the fact that their mother was
so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to the park to get
the job done right. People were crowding around four and
five deep,
pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes
widened in amazement.
"Yes" the photographer said "and for
more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling and I could
hardly
concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush
my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I just
packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward, "you mean they actually
chewed on your um
equipment?"
"That's right. Well madam, if you are ready,
I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use the tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much
too big for me to hold very long.
Madam? Madam?
Good Lord, she's fainted!!!"
|
