taboo stories

Olympic commentators

Supposedly true utterings by commentators covering the
2004 Olympics. True? I doubt it. Funny? You bet.

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Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava
from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her
warm up and it was amazing."

Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse
and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted
her mother."

Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially
my mother and father."

Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,
and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that
serious."

Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself,
I should think we can expect the same thing again."

Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition
doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their
faces."

At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of
the British crew."

Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing
so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out
his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?"