New Meaning For Vaseline

Roger is buying his cousin's used motorcycle.
He says, "My God, it's so shiny! It's like
new! What's your secret?"
His cousin says, "Well, any time it's about to
rain, I coat the chrome with some Vaseline so it won't
tarnish. In fact, I won't be needing this any longer,
take my tube."


Roger and his girlfriend are going to her parents'
house for dinner for the first time, so he goes to pick her
up on the motorcycle.


As she's getting on the bike behind him, she says, "Listen,
I have to tell you something. My family's a little strange.
You can't talk during dinner. If you talk during dinner,
you have to do the dishes."


When they walk into her parents' house, not only in
the kitchen, but in the dining room, the living room, on
the stairs, the back porch, everywhere, there are piles
and piles of dirty dishes. They haven't done the dishes
in months.


They sit down to eat, and the whole meal, nobody talks.
It's the end of the meal, Roger is getting a little horny,
and he figures nobody is going to say anything, so he grabs
his girlfriend, and pops! her right there on the dining
room table.
Nobody says anything.


He's still a little horny, and her mother is kind of
cute, so he figures, "What the hell?" He throws
her mother up on the table and starts to do her.


He's just about done with her, when he looks out the
window and sees it's starting to rain on his motorcycle.
He reaches into his pocket and takes out the tube of Vaseline.


Her father jumps up and says, "All right, all right,
I'll do the fucking dishes."

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