Does she or doesnt she want it?
My wife and I have been married now 18 years. As with most
couples I have read about our sex life became more of a vacation
than an regular event. After our last child left the nest
I asked her if it was over or what we should do to spark it again.
She said she just was not that sexually motivated anymore
and stated very explicitly that there were no other men
in her world since we had married.
We have on 4 occasions had a 3some with another female but
I think she just wanted to make it happen for my benefit.
All of these times were within the first 10 years of marriage.
In the last 2 years we have discussed it many times and she
even actively participated with the profile on Adult FriendFinder but
I get accused of badgering her until she answers with something
I want to hear or if she does say something from her private
archives I then she says I give her the 20 question routine.
I just know that she has become very good at avoiding the
questions related to what turns her on and what she likes
sexually by changing the subject or simply not saying anything
when she cannot figure out how to get around it. But more
so than that I can tell when she is hiding her true feelings
and just want her to open up and tell me what gets her hot.
One time she stated that she couldnt share her fantasies
with me because she didnt have any, I find that very illogical.
I have tried everything I can think of from toys, stories,
and even a swingers club once (where she objected to going
there at first but said she would to make me happy. once there
she only watched but got very turned on by going and still
would not admit it)to talking to her while we have sex and
have found that I can get her talking more freely when she
is very turned on and looses her inhibitions. I have told
her I just want to be the best lover I can with her but she still
will not open up under normal circumstances. She has confided
in me lately she desires to have a MMF 3some or sex with other
men but wont help get the ball rolling.
Last night I suggested she look at some profiles I had selected
from Adult FriendFinder while I get ready to go to dinner. I walked in to see
her smiling at a picture of a guy and asked if she liked what
she saw. her answer was I am still looking. So I asked her
if she had seen one again that I showed her from 2 nights before,
she opened it up and I again asked her if she liked him. I got
the same answer as the other night. NONE. I dont get it can
someone help me get her past this stage or do you think it's
beyond Freud at this point?
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