Pumkin Shagger
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year
old white male
resident of Dacula, Georgia, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m.
on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour,
public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County
courthouse on
Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch
he decided
to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside,
and there was no
one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't, "
he stated in a phone
interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of
the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his
purpose, cut a hole in
it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need'
.
"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented
with evident
embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed
to notice a
Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware
of his audience
until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"That was an unusual situation, that's for sure, "
said Officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he's ..ummm ... was
just pumping away at
this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened
when she approached
Lawrence.
"I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but
do you realize that you're
having sex with a pumpkin?". He froze and was clearly
very surprised
that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face
and said, "A pumpkin?
- Is it midnight already?"
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