great Bart Simpson lines
Jasper: is this seat taken little girl? / Bart: I'm
not a girl, are you blind? / Jasper: yes...
all life's answers are on T.V.
Ranger: ok, search party, before we set out, let's
take a moment to humour the children. (to Bart and Lisa)
Kids, your father's gonna be just fine! (to everyone
else) Ok, everybody, put on your corpse-handling gloves,
we've got two frozen bodies buried somewhere in this
mountain / Bart: did you hear that, Lise? Dad's gonna
be just fine
you know, I've done a lot of bad stuff through the years.
I guess now I'm paying the price. But there's so
many things I'll never get a chance to do: smoke a cigarette,
use a fake ID, shave a swear word in my hair...
you got the brains and talent to go as far as you want, no matter
what anyone says. And when you do, I'll be right there
to borrow money
your right, Lis. I can suck up to him, like the religious
suck up to God
I didn't think it was physically possible, but this
both sucks and blows
contagious? Outrageous! Heh heh I got some teachers to
lick
college? Ha! Barber or clown?
come on Milhouse, there?s no such thing as a soul! It?s just
something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man
or Michael Jackson
hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby
I don't really wanna be here dad...I started a fire
that I really should keep an eye on
Akira: we learn karate, so that we need never use it. / Bart:
um, excuse me sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can
we break out the nunchucks?
Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend anymore.
That's why you couldn't come to the party. / Bart:
what's she got against me? / Milhouse: she says you're
a bad influence. / Bart: bad influence, my ass! How many
times have I told you? Never listen to your mother!
Bart: hey, where's Homer? / Marge: your father is ?
resting. / Bart: 'resting' hung-over? 'Resting'
got fired? Help me out here
Bart: dad, when did you record an album? / Homer: I'm
surprised you don't remember, son. It was only eight
years ago. / Bart: thanks to television, I can't remember
what happened eight minutes ago
those do-gooders are all a bunch of pitiful losers. Every
last one of them. Want results? You have to go to the Schwartzeneggers,
the Stallones, and, to a lesser extent, the Van Dammes
I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat
from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn't
have a seven or an eight, and Krusty's autobiography
was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this
time he's gone too far!
Bart: I?ll be Gus, the lovable chimney sweep. Clean as a
whistle, thick as a thistle, best in all West Minster, yeah!
/ Homer: shut up boy
Bart: what the hell is this? / Lisa: it's one of those
campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation-Xers
/ Bart: we need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a
little
Lisa: I think it's ironic that it was dad's weight
that allowed him to plug the hole, while a slimmer man would
have fallen to his death / Bart: and I think it's ironic
that for once dad's butt prevented the escape of toxic
ga- / Marge: BART!
Bart: I'm looking for a Mr. Jass. First name Hugh / Moe:
hang on, lemmie check. Is there a Hugh Jass here? I'm
looking for a Hugh Jass! / Hugh: I'm Hugh Jass / Moe:
phone for ya / Hugh: hello? I'm Hugh Jass / Bart: um...I'm
gonna' be straight with you Mister, this is just a prank
call that went horribly wrong / Hugh: oh, ok then. Have a
nice night. (hangs up) What a nice young man
what's everyone's problem? I'm glad we're
stranded. It'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson,
only with more cursing. We're gonna live like kings.
Damn hell ass kings!
listen Martin, right now I'm looking for a friend who
won't leave me for a girl / Martin: that's me. I'm
just as unpopular with the ladies as I am with the chaps
I'd like to come back as a butterfly / Lisa: why? / Bart:
because nobody ever suspects the butterfly!
what a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing,
bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding...
|
